When you stop telling and start asking, everything changes. Clients open up. The conversation feels lighter, more genuine. And instead of trying to sell services they may not even want, you uncover what they actually need, and what they’re excited to invest in.
This simple shift turns those awkward, salesy moments into relaxed, collaborative discussions where clients almost talk themselves into working with you.
It works especially well in proposal conversations. When you slow down, ask better questions, listen more closely, and dig into what’s really beneath the surface, clients start to recognise their own challenges. And the truth is, people resist being told what they need — but they fully commit to solutions they arrive at themselves.
Advisory isn’t about bombarding clients with answers. It’s about helping them think better. That’s where the Ask, Don’t Tell mindset comes in.
It turns you from ‘the person with the spreadsheet’ into the partner who helps clients unlock those light‑bulb moments.
Here’s how to explain it to your clients, and use it yourself, without sounding like you’ve swallowed a leadership textbook.
Instead of diving straight into solutions, guide clients with smart, simple questions. Think of it as swapping the megaphone for a torch. You’re lighting the path, not marching them down it.
“I’m going to ask a few questions to help us get underneath the numbers. It’s not a quiz, it just helps us land on decisions that feel right for you and your business.”
It works because clients feel confident, not bossed around. You discover what’s actually going on, not just what they think the problem is. Solutions land better because they helped create them.
This mindset is pure gold for:
However, it's not great for GST rules, IRD deadlines, and other non-negotiables. In those cases, ask questions to understand context, then switch to clear guidance so they stay compliant (and sane).
To introduce the approach without over‑explaining it, keep it light and transparent:
“I’m here to help you make strong decisions, not just tell you what to do. So I’ll ask some questions to get us there together, deal?”
Clients get it instantly — No jargon. No TED Talk required.
Discover more about Ask, Don’t Tell and other powerful mindsets in Gap Academy.